Stop Playing the Blame Game


I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues. It’s how we deal with those issues I want to talk about today. Seems like lately, everyone wants to play the blame game. I keep hearing people talk about their problems and in their conversation there seems to almost always be someone else to blame. This really bothers me because it seems like no one wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore.  That’s taking the easy way out. When there are problems, situations or unwanted circumstances in life whether it be past or present, why not look at yourself and see what you can do differently?  Instead of focusing on what someone else did or did not do, get your mind right. Perspective is everything. Focus on you. Hold yourself accountable. You have no control over the actions of other people. You can however, control you.

That is how my book, Let’s Talk Life: A New Perspective was birthed. I went through many ups and downs in a very short season in my life. In that time God began to show me, me. He wouldn’t even allow me to point the finger and focus on the actions of others (even though I wanted to very badly). Instead, he used my pain and heartache to grow me up. Me focusing on the actions, or lack there of, of other people would have caused me to stay in the same space I was in.  Which means I would have never been able to grow.  There is some stuff on the inside of you that only God can get out, but you have to get to a place where you’re willing. You must be willing to acknowledge your faults, if to no one else but to God. The fact of the matter is, you will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are now. If you want to be successful. If you want to be victorious. If you want to be the wonderful, awesome person that you were created to be stop blaming everyone else for everything and take responsibility for you. Make a decision. Be the change you’d like to see in others.

Thought Check:

Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. (Romans 12:3 NLT)

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:2 NIV)

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Decisions = Consequences

Decisions = Consequences

As I reflect upon where I am today in life, I can honestly see the reality of consequences.  Yes, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and done some stupid stuff, but there are also some things that I got right.  Looking into the big beautiful eyes of my two little girls reminds me of that each and every day.  Typically, when we think of consequences, we think of negative results based on decisions that are made.  In fact, when I looked up words that are synonymous with ‘consequences’ there are words like penalty or cost included in the list.  The result or effect of an action is how we define consequence, and nowhere does it say that result or effect has to be negative.

So what, you’ve made some bad decisions, but don’t beat yourself up over it.  What about those decisions you made that were right?  So seldom we fail to give our self credit for the things we actually did right.  These right decisions have consequences as well.  Say you decide to stop and give a homeless man on the street a meal to eat, you better believe there is no penalty in that.  This is where the law of reciprocity comes into play.  Simply put, you are blessed to be a blessing, so in order to stay blessed you have to keep blessing others.

The place we need to avoid is being in the valley of indecision.  Yes, we make bad decisions and we make good ones both of which, in my opinion, are required to move forward in life.  However, when we are stuck in a valley of indecision there are consequences for that also.  There is such an unsettling that comes behind not making a decision or even worse, letting someone else make the decision for you.  Decide what you are going to do and never let anyone else make life-changing decisions for you.

I truly believe that decisions have a tremendous impact on our life and maintaining the ability to reach our destiny.  We can face some tough situations in life, making it very difficult to make decisions on our own.  Which is why it is also important that we stand on the word of God.  The word says that in all of our ways we are to acknowledge God, so in essence whether they are difficult or easy so to speak, we should be seeking Him about these decisions anyway.

The next time you are placed in a position where you have to make a decision take a minute to think about what the consequences may be, because you know there will be some.  The end result of decisions is consequences. Just remember that those consequences are not always bad.  When you do good, good things come to you.  Either way, take a moment to reflect and hear from God before you move forward. #iDeclare #DecisionsEqualConsequences


Scripture Reference:

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Make The Most of It


Lately, I’ve been thinking about how our environment can effect our state of mind.  I was thinking of this because I was reminiscing on how it was when I first moved to Germany.  Coming from Atlanta, Georgia, this moved literally flipped my world upside down.  I absolutely despised it when I got here.  I did not want to come in the first place because I had never been so far away from my family.  Then when I got here the weather was cold, we are in a small country area where there really isn’t much around, it is cold, I did not like the food, I did not understand the language and did I mention it was very, very cold.  It took me about a year to really adapt and accept the fact that I was living in Germany.  In that year of adjustment I was not a very happy camper.  I did not want to go anywhere.  I did meet a few nice people but within a few months they all slowly started moving back to the states.  It was just a very tough transition for me.  I said all of that to say this, I was in a new environment and even though I did not like it, I allowed it to control me in a sense that it changed my entire outlook on life.  I allowed it to stop me and slow me down from truly operating in the full purpose of me being here.  I knew that God had sent me over here for a reason, and oddly enough I even had a strong spirit of expectation coming over.  I was expecting great things, but I was so stuck on me and being selfish that God could not begin to work in me like He wanted to.  Instead of me making the most of this new country I was living in, I chose to be miserable.  That’s right, I made a decision.  Therefore I was unable to be very effective because I was so stuck in my unhappy living situation.

How do we still fulfill our purpose and make the most out of situations where we are unhappy?  This is a tough question to answer.  I think it all goes back to perspective and not allowing your environment, or even people you surround yourself with to hold you back.  We have to accept life as it is handed to us and decide to make the most of it.  No matter who, what, when or where.

I’ve also noticed when talking with a few people about their job lately, they’ve mentioned how the environment at their job has had a negative impact on them.  I can see this happening, mainly because your workplace is somewhere you typically go on a regular basis.  This is no different from when children go to school and their behavior begins to rub off on each other.  For Christians however, having your own, individual, personal relationship with God is how this can be avoided. When you have your own special relationship with Him, you realize more and more about who He is, but you also realize more and more about who you are in Him.  When you know who you are in Christ, you have a confidence about yourself.  You go places knowing you have the power and authority to shift the atmosphere.  So whether it is work, school, or the grocery store, you take God with you.  Instead of the folks around you having a negative impact on you, you begin to have a positive impact on them.  The roles are reversed.

Learning how to take the good, the bad and the ugly and truly optimize the moment is the purpose of this message.  In order for us to fully be used at our utmost potential by God, we have to make a choice to do so.  When we make the choice, we should not allow anything, including our environment to stop us from moving forward and walking in our destiny.  #iDeclare #makethemostofit



Father God, in the name of Jesus.  I thank you for pushing me towards my destiny.  Forgive me for times when I allow the things going on around me to hinder me from moving forward.  Thank you for loving me and desiring a personal relationship with me.  As I draw closer to you, please help me to learn more about you and about myself.  Help me to walk in the knowledge of who I am in Christ at all times God.  I decree and declare that no matter what my environment is, I will make the most of it.  I will shift the atmosphere for the glory of God.  I will be a leader and not a follower.  Instead of me conforming to the ways of the world, I decree and declare that I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind in Christ Jesus.  Thank you God for hearing my prayer, In Jesus Name.  Amen.

Scripture References:

Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Philippians 2:5 KJV “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”